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It's been a while, and a lot of things have changed in my life over these past few months, but before I get too into that, first order of business,
For those of you who I don't really keep updated on what is going on in my life, I've decided to start getting into T-shirt design. My first design has just been approved and is up for judging now! It will be up for 7 days and I would hugely appreciate it if you'd swing on over and give me a vote. Downside to that is, to vote you need an account, but the upside to that downside is it literally takes seconds to make one, no corresponding e-mail confirmation codes, and no newsletter harassments (unless you want them) none of that mess...
If you guys could do this for me I'd be grateful beyond words...
If this works out for me I can see this being a really enjoyable thing to be a part of and the payoff and opportunities are huge @.@
Thank you ^^[link]
Well,...where to begin? I swear I'm terrible at letting people know what is going on in my life...XD
On December 28th I got married to my best friend in the entire world, my soulmate, my person...after nearly four years of being mocked and made to feel illegitimate because we were in a long distance relationship, we are finally together, in the same place, and I couldn't be more grateful. Really trying to tell the story of that is a book in and of itself, so I'm not even going to try, not today anyways...X3
This also implies that yes, I have moved as well, and moved away from my family at that, which admittedly is one of the most heartbreaking feelings I have ever felt in my life. Eventually I will adjust, but for now, I grieve...and I try to take it one day at a time.
On the tail end of that I also lost my Grandmother the morning after I left. She spent the majority of 2012 in and out hospitals and nursing homes (mostly in) fighting with a spiraling mess of different health issues that slammed into one another like a descending staircase of dominoes until she was practically completely dependent on my mothers help. It was a real eye opener as to what a real shit-hole our health care system is, but I won't get started on that either.
She kept her twisted sense of humor until the end, and I only regret that circumstances didn't bring our family closer to her until too late. I wish we could have been together for more than the occasional visit, but whether I hadn't seen her in a year, or 4 years, she still loved me just the same, and I, her. She always spoke of her life in terms of regret and apology, but I don't think she realized just what a gift she gave the world when she gave it my mother.
She has always lived a life of perseverance, strength and integrity, but watching her give herself like she did this last year, my last year with them, has been perhaps the grittiest lesson of what it means to love someone I have ever witnessed...it's not just showing up a day out of the week to clear your conscience, it's being there every day in the thick of it, whether you've worked 11 hours, or 14 hours
Whether you are tired or not, whether it makes you sad to be there or not, whether you have the mental capacity to watch your mother die...or not. She was there every. Single. Day. And she can have no regrets.
That is love.
And I can only hope that when my turn comes, I can have half of the integrity and bravery as my mother, to escort her out of the world with dignity,comfort, and grace...
What is supposed to be one of the most exciting times of someones life, (Though it has been exciting!) has been very overshadowed with grieving these past few months, but everything is coming together nicely and I have no complaints. Erik and I have settled into our house, and everything is coming to a close with all of the dreaded adult-y paperwork crap that comes with making these big changes. Name changes, license switch-overs, you name it, I've probably had to file for it these last two months..XD but come soon once I get my drivers license and registration switched over to the new state and my last name on my Cosmetology license, I'll be done with it all and ready for work.
I'm both nervous and excited to see what waits for me in the world of cutting hair, but I must always remember that I am there because I believe in the power of the creative spirit and not get clouded by the vanity and pettiness that that career field also brings. I am trying to both make and keep art the biggest priority in my life, so here's to paying the bills, but also remembering why it is that we are here...^^
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